With the increasing heat of our sweltering Oregon summer (86 degrees is heat, ok?) comes a few unexpected problems. Like the lack of air-conditioning, because it's not worth the price to be comfortable for two random months. The biggest problem that I've faced thus far is the simple fact that school is out.
I'm lying in bed at 10:30 at night and enjoying the blissful evening breeze that is welcome by my window's open embrace when suddenly I hear this ear piercing scream of a little girl followed by her chasers shouts and giggles. Yes, summertime means no school in the morning which obviously means no bedtime or parental supervision. Having been jolted awake and robbed of at least the next hour of sleep I eye the clock murderously while counting down the minutes until the alarm joyously plays the radio at 5:30am in a feeble attempt at bringing some happiness to my morning (I'm NOT a morning person).
Here is a list of thoughts that cross my mind while the little neighbor monsters cause my addiction to caffeine:
1. I imagine myself perched on my roof with a variety of weapons (such as a crossbow, a shotgun, my revolver, anything that is potentially lethal) and I am target practicing in my mind with said weapons on said monsters.
2. I imagine myself leaping over the fence and bodily putting the children to bed myself and viciously telling them that bedtime is 9 o'clock from now until forever.
3. Screaming profanities out my window in hopes that the parents will corral their children inside to hide their innocent ears from my corruption.
Although I have not had the energy to do anything but spew hatred in their general direction, I have seriously considered many options for the coveted peace, quiet, and sleep.
They have also ruined 4th of July for me. I used to love that holiday, but a week straight of the loudest fireworks known to man is causing me to lose my sanity as well as my fragile grip on all rational behavior.
I'm lying in bed at 10:30 at night and enjoying the blissful evening breeze that is welcome by my window's open embrace when suddenly I hear this ear piercing scream of a little girl followed by her chasers shouts and giggles. Yes, summertime means no school in the morning which obviously means no bedtime or parental supervision. Having been jolted awake and robbed of at least the next hour of sleep I eye the clock murderously while counting down the minutes until the alarm joyously plays the radio at 5:30am in a feeble attempt at bringing some happiness to my morning (I'm NOT a morning person).
Here is a list of thoughts that cross my mind while the little neighbor monsters cause my addiction to caffeine:
1. I imagine myself perched on my roof with a variety of weapons (such as a crossbow, a shotgun, my revolver, anything that is potentially lethal) and I am target practicing in my mind with said weapons on said monsters.
2. I imagine myself leaping over the fence and bodily putting the children to bed myself and viciously telling them that bedtime is 9 o'clock from now until forever.
3. Screaming profanities out my window in hopes that the parents will corral their children inside to hide their innocent ears from my corruption.
Although I have not had the energy to do anything but spew hatred in their general direction, I have seriously considered many options for the coveted peace, quiet, and sleep.
They have also ruined 4th of July for me. I used to love that holiday, but a week straight of the loudest fireworks known to man is causing me to lose my sanity as well as my fragile grip on all rational behavior.
Time to move to the country! ;)
ReplyDeleteEar Plugs??!?!
ReplyDeletepoor poor breal!!! will I see you on the news then? The airconditioner would be so worth it in the end!
ReplyDelete