Krav Maga is an Israeli fighting technique. Its all about self defense followed swiftly by kicking the bad guy's @$$. Very effective and fun to practice.
I have found one problem with their teaching. Apparently it's important for a person to be aware of their surroundings. For example, if you have your headphones in or are texting on your phone you won't be aware enough to ward off a potential attacker and bad things could happen.
My problem is Portland.
In Portland if you don't have your headphones in or if you aren't texting obliviously on your phone then it means you are friendly and want to talk. What Portland doesn't get is that I just worked all day in a call center where they pay me to talk; why would I want to talk to you, Mr/Mrs stranger, when I'm not being paid to be friendly to you??
After being caught unsuspecting in many painfully awkward conversations while trapped on the bus with nowhere to run I've come to a decision. I'd rather be unaware. I can take that risk. Because when I'm walking up the hill to my bus stop and I see that certain oober friendly person, I put my headphones on (even tho I don't turn any music on) and I start playing solitaire like my life depends on it. It works and I don't have to pretend to be nice when all I can think about is getting home.
You'll understand and will agree with me 100% the day a smelly hunched homeless man decides to inform you that you smell like cookies and proceeds to make some sort of one sided conversation about how great it is that you smell like cookies. How he could smell anything over his unwashed, cigarette smoke stench is beyond me.
Just for the record. I love to talk to people. Just not strangers. In Portland. When I'm either on my way to or from work. Every other time I will be as alert as my Krav Maga instructor told me to be. I will make him proud. Let's just hope that he doesn't find me in Portland any time soon because I won't be paying any attention at all.
I have found one problem with their teaching. Apparently it's important for a person to be aware of their surroundings. For example, if you have your headphones in or are texting on your phone you won't be aware enough to ward off a potential attacker and bad things could happen.
My problem is Portland.
In Portland if you don't have your headphones in or if you aren't texting obliviously on your phone then it means you are friendly and want to talk. What Portland doesn't get is that I just worked all day in a call center where they pay me to talk; why would I want to talk to you, Mr/Mrs stranger, when I'm not being paid to be friendly to you??
After being caught unsuspecting in many painfully awkward conversations while trapped on the bus with nowhere to run I've come to a decision. I'd rather be unaware. I can take that risk. Because when I'm walking up the hill to my bus stop and I see that certain oober friendly person, I put my headphones on (even tho I don't turn any music on) and I start playing solitaire like my life depends on it. It works and I don't have to pretend to be nice when all I can think about is getting home.
You'll understand and will agree with me 100% the day a smelly hunched homeless man decides to inform you that you smell like cookies and proceeds to make some sort of one sided conversation about how great it is that you smell like cookies. How he could smell anything over his unwashed, cigarette smoke stench is beyond me.
Just for the record. I love to talk to people. Just not strangers. In Portland. When I'm either on my way to or from work. Every other time I will be as alert as my Krav Maga instructor told me to be. I will make him proud. Let's just hope that he doesn't find me in Portland any time soon because I won't be paying any attention at all.
No comments:
Post a Comment