"Husband's Cat"

Sleepy Rylie

Remember a few weeks ago when I posted that husband brought home a kitten and he named her Rylie and now husband has a cat?

Yeah, well, I think she's turned into my kitty without me knowing.

Every evening, after I get home from work and finish cooking dinner, as soon as I sit down on the couch Rylie jumps up on my lap and purrs her cute little head off. If my lap is occupied she will curl up next to me until lap space is freed up enough for her to fit. Its become a habit now.

This arrangement actually works out quite well because my other cat, Garbage, only likes to cuddle with me in the morning time then attack things and go into stealth mode in the evenings. Rylie is the opposite.

Also, I can use Rylie's cuddle time to convince husband that he's not a very good cuddler thus making him try harder. This is what I like to call a win-win situation.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Keeping Portland Weird - Part 2

Can I get a grande extra hot cock latte with whip cream please?

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Morning Music

My alarm connects to my IPhone and plays music for me to let me know it's time to get up and start my day.  It's a brilliant thing; I can pick my song before bed and ta-da!  Happy music for me to wake up to. 

Lately though, I think my IPhone is playing tricks on me.  I'll pick some fun song to wake up dancing to (if that's at all possible for me to be semi-happy in the morning) such as "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO but my IPhone has different ideas and decides to sabotage my morning by waking me up to "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars. 

So instead of me waking up to an upbeat happy song that I can hum along to while I'm in the shower, my morning takes a nasty turn for the worst and goes something like this...

Clock hits 5:30am.  Que music.

Today I don't feel like doing ANYTHING

You're right, I don't feel like doing anything.

I just wanna lay in my bed.

I do just want to lay here.  My bed is so cozy and warm.

Don't feel like picking up my phone! So leave a message at the tone.

If only I could get away with that.  I work in a call center.  Thanks for reminding me that I HAVE to answer my phone otherwise I get in trouble.  Stupid song.

Because today I swear I'm not doing anything! Nothing at all.

Way to rub it in Bruno Mars.  You suck at 5:30am.  You may not have to do anything today, but I have to go to work and make some money to pay for my house.

Maybe I'll quit waking up to music and switch back to the ever reliable and annoying BEEPing noise.  That'll show you Bruno Mars.

Krav Maga

Krav Maga is an Israeli fighting technique. Its all about self defense followed swiftly by kicking the bad guy's @$$. Very effective and fun to practice.

I have found one problem with their teaching. Apparently it's important for a person to be aware of their surroundings. For example, if you have your headphones in or are texting on your phone you won't be aware enough to ward off a potential attacker and bad things could happen.

My problem is Portland.

In Portland if you don't have your headphones in or if you aren't texting obliviously on your phone then it means you are friendly and want to talk. What Portland doesn't get is that I just worked all day in a call center where they pay me to talk; why would I want to talk to you, Mr/Mrs stranger, when I'm not being paid to be friendly to you??

After being caught unsuspecting in many painfully awkward conversations while trapped on the bus with nowhere to run I've come to a decision. I'd rather be unaware. I can take that risk. Because when I'm walking up the hill to my bus stop and I see that certain oober friendly person, I put my headphones on (even tho I don't turn any music on) and I start playing solitaire like my life depends on it. It works and I don't have to pretend to be nice when all I can think about is getting home.

You'll understand and will agree with me 100% the day a smelly hunched homeless man decides to inform you that you smell like cookies and proceeds to make some sort of one sided conversation about how great it is that you smell like cookies. How he could smell anything over his unwashed, cigarette smoke stench is beyond me.

Just for the record. I love to talk to people. Just not strangers. In Portland. When I'm either on my way to or from work. Every other time I will be as alert as my Krav Maga instructor told me to be. I will make him proud. Let's just hope that he doesn't find me in Portland any time soon because I won't be paying any attention at all.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Homemade Chicken Cordon Bleu

It took me two years of being married before I realized that husband's love language is "Acts of Service".  He loves it when I cook dinner for him and perform the general house wife duties.  Shows you how much I obviously pay attention.

A few weeks ago our oven stopped working.  You can smell the gas only when you turn it on so we think the igniter must be broken.  We were a few days past our one year warranty, figures.  I have a ton of excuses as to why I haven't gotten it fixed yet.  Mostly I'm liking what I'm cooking now that I don't have my trusty oven to rely on.  I have to be a bit more creative now.

So I made this:

#1.  I love the chicken cordon bleu you can buy from the Schwans guy.
#2.  The last Schwans guy we had I had to run him down in order to tell him to start coming to my house.
#3.  We have a new Schwans guy whose schedule apparently causes us to NEVER SEE HIM.
#4.  I really really really wanted chicken cordon bleu.
#5.  I've been watching all sorts of Gordon Ramsey's kitchen shows, I love Netflix even if they are raising their prices.... whatever. 
#6.  I have found a new courage while watching said cooking shows.










I found this recipe and decided to try it (mostly because it doesn't require an oven):
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/chicken-cordon-bleu-ii/detail.aspx

I used to follow recipes to a T, but this one, I had my way with.  Mostly because I forgot to buy the white wine and boullion crystals while I was at the store specifically for the cordon bleu ingredients while I had a list in hand.  So I improvised because there was no way I was going back to the store.  And I wanted a bread crumb coating.  I would've taken pictures along the way like the amazing Kelly, see her blog http://kiwigirlcooking.blogspot.com/, but I was covered in raw chicken for the majority of the time and didn't want to contaminate my new camera.  Next time, I promise, that I will have someone take pictures of me while I'm cooking.

Oh yeah... I didn't have the heavy cream either so I didn't make the sauce.  Oops.  Still tasted fabulous.  Another great thing about this recipe is by using deli ham for your stuffing you don't have to worry about your ham being raw.  It was a brilliantly delicious idea.  Husband was so happy that he wants me to make cordon bleu again this weekend.

Losing My Sanity

With the increasing heat of our sweltering Oregon summer (86 degrees is heat, ok?) comes a few unexpected problems. Like the lack of air-conditioning, because it's not worth the price to be comfortable for two random months. The biggest problem that I've faced thus far is the simple fact that school is out.

I'm lying in bed at 10:30 at night and enjoying the blissful evening breeze that is welcome by my window's open embrace when suddenly I hear this ear piercing scream of a little girl followed by her chasers shouts and giggles. Yes, summertime means no school in the morning which obviously means no bedtime or parental supervision. Having been jolted awake and robbed of at least the next hour of sleep I eye the clock murderously while counting down the minutes until the alarm joyously plays the radio at 5:30am in a feeble attempt at bringing some happiness to my morning (I'm NOT a morning person).

Here is a list of thoughts that cross my mind while the little neighbor monsters cause my addiction to caffeine:
1. I imagine myself perched on my roof with a variety of weapons (such as a crossbow, a shotgun, my revolver, anything that is potentially lethal) and I am target practicing in my mind with said weapons on said monsters.
2. I imagine myself leaping over the fence and bodily putting the children to bed myself and viciously telling them that bedtime is 9 o'clock from now until forever.
3. Screaming profanities out my window in hopes that the parents will corral their children inside to hide their innocent ears from my corruption.

Although I have not had the energy to do anything but spew hatred in their general direction, I have seriously considered many options for the coveted peace, quiet, and sleep.

They have also ruined 4th of July for me. I used to love that holiday, but a week straight of the loudest fireworks known to man is causing me to lose my sanity as well as my fragile grip on all rational behavior.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Happy Birthday

Today would have been Ashley's 23rd birthday.  It's been about 9 years since she's been gone and now thinking of her makes me smile instead of cry.  I think of all the great memories she gave me and who she might've been today.  I hope that my life will impact as many people as hers did.

I'll stop with a short poem that she emailed to me before she found out that she was sick:

Of all the friends I've ever met
You're the one I won't forget
And if I die before you do
I'll go to heaven and wait for you
I'll give the angels back their wings
And risk the loss of everything
Just to prove my friendship's true
I'm so thankful to have a friend like you