150

I'm finally down to what I weighed when I was a Junior in high school!  Between the 5lbs I gained in college and the extra 3-5lbs I gained after I got married that's a total weight loss of approx. 8-10 pounds.  I give all the credit to coaching basketball.  For some reason, exercise (basketball in particular) really agrees with me.

Also, thinking about starting the Project 365.  It's like a challenge to myself to take a picture every day and post it on the blog.  I'm horrible with finishing projects and that's the main reason why I did not start this project January 1st of last year, but January 1st is coming around again and I'm still thinking about it.  Thoughts?

Too Smart

This is Rylie. She's a bit too smart for her own good. Her favorite hobby is chewing on wires and electric cords. I thought a little shock would make her learn her lesson since she's so sneaky about it. But noooooo. She unplugs the cord before she starts chewing. Too bad she is so fast otherwise I'd discipline her.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

New Morning Routine

Her ears don't really cooperate.

Every morning, after my shower, I crack open the bathroom door just enough that I don't wake husband up. And every morning, as soon as the door opens, puppy's head snaps to attention from her sleepy post at the foot of the bed and she tumbles ungracefully into the bathroom. She watches me, she begs for attention, and she yawns very dramatically.

Every morning I make me way from the brightness of the bathroom, through the pitch black of the bedroom, and into the kitchen for my coffee. I used to be able to make that trek silently like a panther, but now I stumble over puppy who blends into the darkness like a shadow.

When I let her outside to go potty she is eager to come back inside when she's finished (every other time it's a battle to get her to come inside, she would be happier just sitting on the porch, then yips and cries when we finally grab her and pull her back inside).

Every morning I sneak back into the sleepy darkness of the bedroom to give husband a goodbye kiss. Now I tuck puppy back into bed as a say goodbye and she falls blissfully back to sleep.

Dog, on the other hand, never wakes up once.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Curfew

 

When I was growing up we had a dog named Shiner.  She was a mutt and one of the best most loyal dogs I've ever had.  Shiner did this thing, whenever she was tired, she would try to herd us kids into bed so that she could go to sleep.  She HATED sleeping when my sisters and I were rampaging through the house and thought that it was her job to keep an eye on us all the time.  Even in the middle of the night she would make nightly rounds to make sure every one was still in bed and doing ok.

I think Sadie is going to be like that. 

Husband and I have been letting Sadie sleep in bed with us that way, when she starts moving around in the middle of the night, we know that she needs to go potty.  This is great because we can take her outside before she has a chance to make a mess.

Lately, I've been going to bed before Husband (since I have to wake up at 4am for work) and take Sadie to bed with me.  She can hear Husband in the other rooms and whines because he's not in bed too.  Eventually she exhausts herself and falls unhappily to sleep.  In the middle of the night she will move from sleeping on husband's feet, to sleeping on my feet, and back and forth all night long.  If we get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, she sits on the edge of the bed, ears perked up, and whines.  I think she is really scolding us and telling us to get back to bed so she can get some sleep.  In the morning, when I wake up at an ungodly hour, she does the same thing.

Sadie is almost 11 weeks old and she's the most watchful living thing in our household.  I think we have ourselves a little protector.

Duke, on the other hand, doesn't notice ANYTHING when he is sleeping.  If he does happen to notice, he heaves a big heavy dramatic sigh of frustration at our thoughtless interruption, rolls over, and falls back asleep. 

Kind of like me.

Keeping Portland Weird - I'm losing count

The past month I have been getting into work at 6am.  That means that I have to catch the 5:30am bus, in Portland.  Every morning I see this man, we politely smile and nod, get off at the same stop, and go our QUIET separate ways. 

Until this morning.

As I was getting off the bus I heard someone calling after me.  Like a tired zombie idiot, I stopped and turned around.  Dude hustled up to me and started talking about how he's an actor and this is their last day on set and he's going to miss seeing me and that I brighten his morning.

A few minutes later I walk away with a signed picture, a torn of piece of paper with the website for the film he is in, and a desperate need for another cup of coffee.

This is the kind of guy I have been attracting lately.  I'm so glad I got married when I did or else I would've given up all hope in life. 

It has to be the breed.

Husband and I got a lab/retriever last year.  He is a great dog, super sweet, and he wants very much to please us.  He can't help that he's not the brightest.  Lately, dog has been moping around acting all lonely and neglected.  Husband and I work during the day and dog is by himself in the back yard (destroying things).  Feeling sorry for dog, husband and I decided to get him a friend.  We had a few requirements for the breed that we were going to get this time around.
#1.  Smarter.
#2.  More protective (because our dog now would just love an intruder/thief/murderer to death)

I have always loved German Shepherds and the breed fit our criteria.  I do want to mention, for all the animal lovers out there, that I did check the local animal shelters first to see what they had before I made my decision but there were no dogs that fit what I was looking for.  So I searched the Oregon ads to see what was out there.  Bingo!  Cute little 7 week pups for sell.  Friday, husband and I took dog to go look at the puppies.  Dog gets really nervous around other dogs and starts drooling incessantly, it's weird, and gross; I seriously get embarrassed when he does that. 

We ended up picking the puppy that immediately ran over to play with dog then sat at my feet when dog tried to chase the other pups to see what they were doing.  She's pretty much awesome.

Dog LOVES to play with her and they wear each other out.  The only problem now is Dog is suffering from jealousy.  Whenever puppy has a toy or something dog acts like a jerk and growls at her.  We discipline dog for being rude and he literally stomps off, flops himself down in a corner, and pouts.

It's like a dog version of this.  Literally.



I'm convinced that intelligence is in the breed.  Here are some of the reasons why:
- Puppy has had only one accident in the house.  For the past THREE DAYS! (knock on wood).
- It took us MONTHS to potty train dog.  It's like he didn't realize he was peeing, WHILE HE WAS PEEING.  I've never seen a dog that could walk and pee at the same time.  It's a huge mess and not cool at all. 
-  Puppy stops immediately when we say no.
-  Dog still ignores us when we say no.
-  Puppy has figured out that her name is "Sadie" and comes when we call her.  It took her three days to learn her name.
-  We honestly thought Dog was deaf because he didn't answer to his name for weeks.  We think he finally knows, but has selective hearing most of the time.
-  Dog escapes into the front yard, gets scared, then hides under the truck.  ALL.THE.TIME.
-  Puppy has escaped once, panicked, and sat in front of the hole she escaped from and cried. 

I love Dog a lot.  He is sweet, friendly, and adorable.  He is just stupid.  If he was a human he would probably be one of those jocks, the handsome nice kind, but not the brightest.  It's a good thing he's cute.

Oh yeah, the past year that we've had dog and all that training we've been giving him to make him obedient??  Well, he's digressed.  It's like having two untrained puppies now because dog forgot everything.  It's a good thing that puppy is a fast learner, maybe dog will learn something from her.  I'll let you know how that goes.

In the meantime, here's a super cute picture of dog and puppy.  Enjoy!


Puppy playing.  Dog acting over-dramatic.

Age 23 - The Year of Change

It has been awhile since my last blog... and I have a BUNCH of stuff going on right now.  So I will catch you all up bullet point fashion...

- I turned 23.  Not a very exciting age.

- My sister got me a Nook for my birthday.  I'm addicted and neglecting the stack of paper books that I need to read.

- We are in full swing volleyball right now and my girls won their first game!  I'm one proud coach :)  Our next game is tomorrow, hopefully this time I won't be as nervous.

- Husband and I took the dog to Family Camp.  Dog loved every second of it.  He learned how to swim and picked up EVERY.SINGLE.BAD.HABIT that any dog he came in contact had.  He started tunnelling out of our backyard, so we put up the invisible fence.  He started barking and howling at the neighbors, so we bought him a bark shock collar.  Husband says he's got more bling than ZZ Top.  What did dog do in retaliating of our new strict rules?? He ripped the screen out of our screen door.  Right now I am really regretting A) taking the dog camping B) ever getting dog in the first place.  Hopefully this little hellion stage doesn't last long otherwise I may just kill him or pawn him off on some unsuspecting victim that is deluded into thinking he actually has manners.

- I will be losing my job as a Customer Support Rep due to consolidation on December 31st of this year.  So I've been sending out a few applications here and there.  I will start getting more serious about applying towards the middle of October once volleyball season is nearing an end.

- I did apply for a 9-1-1 Emergency Dispatch position... I am really really hoping and praying for that position.  I just have to keep reminding myself, God's will not mine. 

- A person (er, me) can get very distracted and lose a few hours Googling "Typing Speed Test" as "practice" for a certification that I needed saying how many words per minute I type so I can apply for jobs.  Online my highest score was 70.  I have a Certificate saying that I type 65 words per minute with no errors... I would have died it they wouldn't let me use the backspace button.

- I started painting.  Husband thinks I am good, but he gets paid to say that ;)  I just enjoy it because it is relaxing and non-stressful.

I think that about summarizes things for now.  Until next time, God Bless!

UPDATE:  I posted this blog without a title because I was like - Oh I'll think of a good title while I'm typing- but then forgot that I didn't type in a title and clicked "Publish Post" POW!  And now I'm going to fix it. 

Been Kind've Busy, and Lame.

In preparation for my stint as a volleyball coach I have had to change my work schedule.  My normal hours were 8-4:30 and are now 6-2:30, that means that I have to be out of bed by 4:15 if I want a shower.  Let me just say, it is SO nice to be able to get home at 3:30 instead of 6!  But that also means that by 8pm I am crawling in bed.  LAME!  When did I become that person?!  Oh well, I highly value my sleep.

Volleyball started Monday - I have an awesome team and an amazing assistant coach.  I look forward to practice every day.

Our exchange student from Canada, Catherine, came back for a visit.  It is so nice to get to see her.  I have been trying to spend all of my extra time with her.  Last weekend we took off on Wednesday and went kayaking on the Rogue river with my grandpa.

Jessie, Kehly, Catherine, Me, Andi, and Grandpa (Grandma is the photographer)- a few of my favorite people.

I shared a kayak with my cousin, Kehly.  We got dumped, twice, and had the exciting opportunity of riding down not two, but three sets of white water rapids without our boat.  Basically, we missed out on all of the awesome big rapids because we were IN THEM swallowing way too much water.  I'm pretty sure I gained 5 pounds in water weight, yum.  The weather was beautiful, the water was ruthless, and the memories will last forever. 

AND - this weekend is Family Camp!!  I plan on taking both of my cameras.  Now, lets just see if I will use them.

Thing of the Day - Plus a few things both Awful and Awesome

Thing of the day award goes to....

TIGI Dry Shampoo!

For those of you who don't know, I have to shower every morning and wash my hair.  If I do not wash my hair daily it is greasy and yucky and ugly.  I also don't wear hats because they make me look stupid.

I bought this product a few months ago thinking that I'd have it for emergencies when my hair takes a turn for the oily and I need a quick pick me up.

I needed it today.  Today was an emergency.



Here are a things both awful and awesome for my awful Wednesday morning:

Awful: Alarm clocks that are mad at me for posting about them playing the wrong song in the morning so they decide not to play anything at all and leave me to my own devices to wake up.  Which doesn't always work.

Awful:  Waking up 10 minutes after I normally leave for work in the morning.

Awesome:  Getting ready in 10 minutes flat.  Brushed my teeth, put my contacts in, got dressed, and took care of the pets.

Awful:  Not getting to wear my cute new dress because I didn't have time to shave my legs therefore having to wear JEANS in this gorgeous HOT 80+ degree Oregon weather. 

Awful:  NO SHOWER :( AND NO COFFEE :( :(

AWESOME:  TIGI Dry Shampoo... since I didn't have time for a shower.  Also awesome, make-up in a to go bag.  So convenient for times like today when I need ALL of my makeup and can just zip the bag up and take it with me to work.

Awful:  Having no control of my words this morning resulting is a string of cursing.  My poor dog didn't know what was happening and was an angel because he saw how frantic I was, thanks dog for finally cooperating with me.

Awful:  Not having time to pack my salad for lunch that I've been looking forward to... at least I have a few crackers at work to get me thru the day.

Awful:  Getting stuck behind a row of cars going 40 mph in a 55 moh zone resulting in more cursing and road rage.

Awesome:  Illegally talking on the phone while driving with my amazing husband who calmed me down enough to keep me from going crazy.

Awesome:  Not having to ride the bus and parking my car two blocks from work.

Awesome:  Getting to work at 7:55am when my work day starts at 8am.  BOO YEAH!

UPDATE:  My office building locked me in last night.  I was SUPPOSED to leave at 4:30pm but actually didn't get out of the door until 5:06pm because the blasted doors wouldn't open.  Not awesome.

My Moment

There is this moment I have in the mornings, usually before my alarm goes off, where I feel the peaceful presence of God.  It doesn't happen every morning, and until now I haven't found a good explanation for what it was I felt.  It's like all time stands peacefully still and I know exactly where I belong in the world.  The best way I can describe it is the feeling a child gets when they are protected and know that their parent is close by watching over them.  So I decided to write a quick paragraph because it got my creative juices flowing:

Her ears, attuned to the smallest of sounds, faintly picked up muffled whimpering from the far end of the darkened hallway.  Making her way noiselessly to the closed door she slowly let her eyes adjust to the dimness that surrounded her.  With the slightest creek of the door, she gently pushed it open just enough to peek through the crack at her slumbering offspring.  The small form in the narrow bed was tossing and turning, violently fighting off awareness, barely clinging to the last strands of unconsciousness that kept him tied to the sweetest of dream worlds.  A small smile played across her lips as she watched and wondered what dream her baby so fiercely clung to.  With practiced stealth she quietly padded across the room to stroke back a lock of hair and kiss the sweat dampened forehead.  The child, feeling his mother's protective and loving presence fill the room, was engulfed in the peacefulness of belonging and relaxed blissfully back into the sweet oblivion of sleep. 

"Husband's Cat"

Sleepy Rylie

Remember a few weeks ago when I posted that husband brought home a kitten and he named her Rylie and now husband has a cat?

Yeah, well, I think she's turned into my kitty without me knowing.

Every evening, after I get home from work and finish cooking dinner, as soon as I sit down on the couch Rylie jumps up on my lap and purrs her cute little head off. If my lap is occupied she will curl up next to me until lap space is freed up enough for her to fit. Its become a habit now.

This arrangement actually works out quite well because my other cat, Garbage, only likes to cuddle with me in the morning time then attack things and go into stealth mode in the evenings. Rylie is the opposite.

Also, I can use Rylie's cuddle time to convince husband that he's not a very good cuddler thus making him try harder. This is what I like to call a win-win situation.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Keeping Portland Weird - Part 2

Can I get a grande extra hot cock latte with whip cream please?

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Morning Music

My alarm connects to my IPhone and plays music for me to let me know it's time to get up and start my day.  It's a brilliant thing; I can pick my song before bed and ta-da!  Happy music for me to wake up to. 

Lately though, I think my IPhone is playing tricks on me.  I'll pick some fun song to wake up dancing to (if that's at all possible for me to be semi-happy in the morning) such as "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO but my IPhone has different ideas and decides to sabotage my morning by waking me up to "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars. 

So instead of me waking up to an upbeat happy song that I can hum along to while I'm in the shower, my morning takes a nasty turn for the worst and goes something like this...

Clock hits 5:30am.  Que music.

Today I don't feel like doing ANYTHING

You're right, I don't feel like doing anything.

I just wanna lay in my bed.

I do just want to lay here.  My bed is so cozy and warm.

Don't feel like picking up my phone! So leave a message at the tone.

If only I could get away with that.  I work in a call center.  Thanks for reminding me that I HAVE to answer my phone otherwise I get in trouble.  Stupid song.

Because today I swear I'm not doing anything! Nothing at all.

Way to rub it in Bruno Mars.  You suck at 5:30am.  You may not have to do anything today, but I have to go to work and make some money to pay for my house.

Maybe I'll quit waking up to music and switch back to the ever reliable and annoying BEEPing noise.  That'll show you Bruno Mars.

Krav Maga

Krav Maga is an Israeli fighting technique. Its all about self defense followed swiftly by kicking the bad guy's @$$. Very effective and fun to practice.

I have found one problem with their teaching. Apparently it's important for a person to be aware of their surroundings. For example, if you have your headphones in or are texting on your phone you won't be aware enough to ward off a potential attacker and bad things could happen.

My problem is Portland.

In Portland if you don't have your headphones in or if you aren't texting obliviously on your phone then it means you are friendly and want to talk. What Portland doesn't get is that I just worked all day in a call center where they pay me to talk; why would I want to talk to you, Mr/Mrs stranger, when I'm not being paid to be friendly to you??

After being caught unsuspecting in many painfully awkward conversations while trapped on the bus with nowhere to run I've come to a decision. I'd rather be unaware. I can take that risk. Because when I'm walking up the hill to my bus stop and I see that certain oober friendly person, I put my headphones on (even tho I don't turn any music on) and I start playing solitaire like my life depends on it. It works and I don't have to pretend to be nice when all I can think about is getting home.

You'll understand and will agree with me 100% the day a smelly hunched homeless man decides to inform you that you smell like cookies and proceeds to make some sort of one sided conversation about how great it is that you smell like cookies. How he could smell anything over his unwashed, cigarette smoke stench is beyond me.

Just for the record. I love to talk to people. Just not strangers. In Portland. When I'm either on my way to or from work. Every other time I will be as alert as my Krav Maga instructor told me to be. I will make him proud. Let's just hope that he doesn't find me in Portland any time soon because I won't be paying any attention at all.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Homemade Chicken Cordon Bleu

It took me two years of being married before I realized that husband's love language is "Acts of Service".  He loves it when I cook dinner for him and perform the general house wife duties.  Shows you how much I obviously pay attention.

A few weeks ago our oven stopped working.  You can smell the gas only when you turn it on so we think the igniter must be broken.  We were a few days past our one year warranty, figures.  I have a ton of excuses as to why I haven't gotten it fixed yet.  Mostly I'm liking what I'm cooking now that I don't have my trusty oven to rely on.  I have to be a bit more creative now.

So I made this:

#1.  I love the chicken cordon bleu you can buy from the Schwans guy.
#2.  The last Schwans guy we had I had to run him down in order to tell him to start coming to my house.
#3.  We have a new Schwans guy whose schedule apparently causes us to NEVER SEE HIM.
#4.  I really really really wanted chicken cordon bleu.
#5.  I've been watching all sorts of Gordon Ramsey's kitchen shows, I love Netflix even if they are raising their prices.... whatever. 
#6.  I have found a new courage while watching said cooking shows.










I found this recipe and decided to try it (mostly because it doesn't require an oven):
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/chicken-cordon-bleu-ii/detail.aspx

I used to follow recipes to a T, but this one, I had my way with.  Mostly because I forgot to buy the white wine and boullion crystals while I was at the store specifically for the cordon bleu ingredients while I had a list in hand.  So I improvised because there was no way I was going back to the store.  And I wanted a bread crumb coating.  I would've taken pictures along the way like the amazing Kelly, see her blog http://kiwigirlcooking.blogspot.com/, but I was covered in raw chicken for the majority of the time and didn't want to contaminate my new camera.  Next time, I promise, that I will have someone take pictures of me while I'm cooking.

Oh yeah... I didn't have the heavy cream either so I didn't make the sauce.  Oops.  Still tasted fabulous.  Another great thing about this recipe is by using deli ham for your stuffing you don't have to worry about your ham being raw.  It was a brilliantly delicious idea.  Husband was so happy that he wants me to make cordon bleu again this weekend.

Losing My Sanity

With the increasing heat of our sweltering Oregon summer (86 degrees is heat, ok?) comes a few unexpected problems. Like the lack of air-conditioning, because it's not worth the price to be comfortable for two random months. The biggest problem that I've faced thus far is the simple fact that school is out.

I'm lying in bed at 10:30 at night and enjoying the blissful evening breeze that is welcome by my window's open embrace when suddenly I hear this ear piercing scream of a little girl followed by her chasers shouts and giggles. Yes, summertime means no school in the morning which obviously means no bedtime or parental supervision. Having been jolted awake and robbed of at least the next hour of sleep I eye the clock murderously while counting down the minutes until the alarm joyously plays the radio at 5:30am in a feeble attempt at bringing some happiness to my morning (I'm NOT a morning person).

Here is a list of thoughts that cross my mind while the little neighbor monsters cause my addiction to caffeine:
1. I imagine myself perched on my roof with a variety of weapons (such as a crossbow, a shotgun, my revolver, anything that is potentially lethal) and I am target practicing in my mind with said weapons on said monsters.
2. I imagine myself leaping over the fence and bodily putting the children to bed myself and viciously telling them that bedtime is 9 o'clock from now until forever.
3. Screaming profanities out my window in hopes that the parents will corral their children inside to hide their innocent ears from my corruption.

Although I have not had the energy to do anything but spew hatred in their general direction, I have seriously considered many options for the coveted peace, quiet, and sleep.

They have also ruined 4th of July for me. I used to love that holiday, but a week straight of the loudest fireworks known to man is causing me to lose my sanity as well as my fragile grip on all rational behavior.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Happy Birthday

Today would have been Ashley's 23rd birthday.  It's been about 9 years since she's been gone and now thinking of her makes me smile instead of cry.  I think of all the great memories she gave me and who she might've been today.  I hope that my life will impact as many people as hers did.

I'll stop with a short poem that she emailed to me before she found out that she was sick:

Of all the friends I've ever met
You're the one I won't forget
And if I die before you do
I'll go to heaven and wait for you
I'll give the angels back their wings
And risk the loss of everything
Just to prove my friendship's true
I'm so thankful to have a friend like you

Only You Know

I've noticed that most of the pics I post on my blog I also post on facebook. So this time I'm only going to post about it on my blog. Now don't you feel special??

Jessie got a kitten. He's claimed that he is not a cat person, but I think I've converted him. We don't know what to name her yet. Maybe Rylie. She's going to be an outdoor kitty once she's older. Our other cat, Garbage, hates her and our dog, Duke, smothers her like an overprotective mother. They go for extremes, I do wish they'd even out a bit though.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

I Hate IBlogger.

it sucks and eats my incredibly long and fabulous posts and makes me very mad.

A Day Late

Fathers Day was yesterday and while my husband was frying up chicken for dinner I was thinking about my daddy. To say I love my dad is an understatement. As a daughter I haven't always showed him how much I love and appreciate him like I should. He's always been there for me. I can't even begin to say how much he has and still does for me so I will sum everything up with this:
Dad, thanks for being my biggest fan and my superhero. You're literally the best dad a girl could have. I love you so much and and grateful for all you've done for me!
Love,
Daddy's girl

 

Keeping Portland Weird

Bravo. You've done it.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

I'd Forgotten

While I was at work yesterday I got a message from my old basketball coach asking if I wanted to play.  The highschool team that their summer league had them scheduled to play didn't have enough girls.  Of coarse I'd play!  Are you kidding me??  Who cares if I'm 22, have been out of high school for 5 years, and can barely run 3 miles without dying. 

but I'd forgotten...

I'd forgotten how long two 20 minute halves for two games in a row really are.

I'd forgotten the feeling of sitting next to the coach and silently willing them to put you back in the game.

I'd forgotten that point of exhaustion where your body can keep going but your mind has completely shut off.  Your animal instincts step up and you suddenly are boxing out, taking shots, and setting screens without consciously making that decision.  Your body makes those decisions for you.  It's a mindless euphoria obtained only by the drive to never quit.

I'd forgot that my body remembers how to do that.

I also forgotten a few muscles that I had; it's ok, they reminded me that they still exist this morning.

Going for a Walk

I Screamed

Long story short: 
I'm scared of spiders. 

Long story:
It was a gorgeous day Sunday.  The sun finally decided to grace Oregon with some warmth and I soaked as much of it's glorious rays as I could.  One of the outdoor chores that I have been dreading is cleaning out my car.  My car is definitely a commuter car.  I practically live in it.  There is garbage tucked in every nook and cranny with a layer of dust on any of its untouched surfaces.  My mother would be ashamed.  I am actually embarrassed to drive anyone in my car because it is so nasty.  After filling two Safeway bags with garbage and used Clorox wipes I was feeling rather accomplished. With my arms loaded with garbage and my husbands rain jacket (don't know why that was in my car) I merrily made my way back to the house.  As I reached my hand for the door knob I saw it.  I big, hairy spider.

I froze.  (Note: I would post a picture of it to prove how big it was but I didn't think to take a picture of it and didn't want to search google for an image of a spider.  Just thinking about it gives me the heeby-geebies).

While standing there, arms loaded, and hand extended I stared at that disgusting creature.  I could feel my heart rate climb higher and higher as the spider made its way up my front door. 

The spider finally made it to the top of the door then stopped and stared it's many soulless eyes at me just daring me to do something.  Somewhere in my being I found a small amount of courage.  It was just enough to turn the knob and give the door a slight push.  With every bad thought about the horrible things that spider could do to me I mechanically moved through the door while forcing myself to keep eye contact with the spider.

Then the unthinkable happened.  The little monster launched itself off my door and at my face.

I reacted like any sane person would.  I instantaneously threw my armload with careless abandon, screamed, and ran as fast as I could to hide myself safely behind the couch.

As I peeped over the edge of the couch I half noticed husband, cat, and dog all staring at me like I had lost my mind while I frantically scanned my surroundings for any other potential spider threat.  I silently cursed myself for not having some super power that would allow my eye sight to find where my evil attacker landed while husband bewilderly attempted to coaxed me out of my hiding spot, but I violently refused to budge.

Husband is my super hero.  He bravely located and killed my attacker then humorously looked at me and said "I've never heard you scream like that before".  Well, darling, nothing really scares me badly enough to warrant a death scream... only spiders.

Yeah so...

I realize it's been awhile since my last blog. So I wrote this really long story yesterday with my new app, iBlogger. When I tried to post my really long story (that took forever to write on my phone) it didn't save and for some reason decided to delete it. All of it. At the moment I'm pouting and don't really feel like rewriting that whole story. I'll try again later.

P.S. iBlogger sucks. And I paid for it. Yay me.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Why Public Transit is a Horrible Idea

I write this as I'm sitting on the bus...

Public Transit sucks because:
#1. The bus is never on time. The one you were supposed to catch is early and you woefully watch the half empty bus take off without you while you try racing up the block in vain to catch it. The next bus is 5 minutes late and crammed packed.

#2. Personal space is non existent. I don't like it when people that I don't know touch me. When the bus is full with standing room only and your wedged between a tall sweaty man and a short lesbian you'll wish you had decided to drive into work that day. Even though parking costs $6-$15 depending how close to work you want to park.

#3. It smells bad. Actually, this should be number one, but this list is more chronologically written than importance written. Lots of people with lots of different weird (and mostly bad) smells in a confined area with the windows securely closed is NEVER a good idea.

#4. The buses break down, A LOT. And the bus driver takes it as his personal responsibility to keep you on the smelly, cramped, nasty bus where it is "safe". I'm sorry Mr Bus driver, but you're not the boss of me and it's not your lawful duty to keep me on the bus. I'm going to walk to the next stop.

#5. It smells REALLY bad. Like baby vomit and filth.

#6. Strangers decide that they want to talk to you. I work in customer support, so I'm sorry but the last thing I want to do is talk to ANOTHER stranger.

#7. People complain loudly. People talk on their phones loudly. Its like a yelling contest.

My bus is parking now so I'm not going to proof read this. I'm going home. It still smells.

UPDATE: I just got home and ate. Now that I have food in my tummy I am a lot less irritable. Also I'm not surrounded my that noxious smell that was causing me to involuntarily dry heave. I realize that my argument as to why public transportation is awful is not very sound or logical. I know I can do better, but it's been awhile since my last post. So I'm just going to leave this up here as an example of my I'm-hungry-and-on-my-way-home-don't-mess-with-me self.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Greasy Act of Kindness?

Last night I decided to make breakfast for dinner.  Bacon, fried potatoes, and scrambled eggs.  It was delicious.  To reward my patient dog and cat for staying out of the kitchen and generally not begging for scraps while I was cooking I decided to reward them with some bacon grease drizzled over their food for dinner. 

The dog was ecstatic and quickly downed his dinner which turned into loudly licking the empty bottom of his food bowl all the way across the dining room (wood) floor.  Did I mention he did this as loud as possible?

The cat, on the other hand, quietly took a few dainty bites of her food and didn't even make it half way through her meal before she decided she was done.  She must be concerned about what the bacon grease would do to her figure.

Immediately afterwards both dog and cat were merrily licking their chops and sitting in the living room with husband and me.  Dog sprawled out of the floor with his bone.  Cat hopped up on my lap then vomited all over my robe.  Thanks cat.

While I was cleaning myself up cat sat in the middle of the living room floor.  She started swaying like her head weighed too much.  Then she flopped on her side and laid there all lethargically.  Her eyes glazed over and she just stared into space.  When I went to pick her up she started moaning and groaning and making all sorts of sick noises.

At this point I'm really concerned.  My cat is never lethargic.  Or sick.  And has never puked on me.  Husband was not very helpful and told me that my greasy act of kindness was going to kill our cat.

So I did what any concerned pet owner would do.  I called my mom.  I know that you're not supposed to give dogs chocolate and wasn't sure if I missed the whole "you can't give cat's bacon grease" rule.  Mom had never heard of any such rule and said that puking was probably the best thing for her at that point.

Husband, dog, cat, and I all crawl into bed to watch some T.V.  Dog is very concerned about my dramatically sick cat.  Cat is groaning while huddled in a corner under my nightstand.  I try consoling the cat and cuddling with her, but that just makes her more miserable.  She seems to be giving up on life.  Now dog and I are really concerned.  So I fall asleep.  (You'd understand if it was 10pm and you had to wake up at 5:30am too!  Don't judge.)

12:31 am I am startled awake by cat's violent, theatrical, death screams.  And more projectile vomiting.  I've never heard anything like that in my life, and will have nightmares about it probably for the rest of my life.  Husband puts the cat to bed in the garage and cleans up her mess because when I just wake up from a dead sleep, I'm retarded.  I just sat there shakily asking him if I should help.  Because husband is the best and knows not to mess with my sleep he was very understanding and told me to just go back to bed.  So I did.  And had nightmares about my dramatic, yowling cat dying.

This morning I am glad to find that my cat is doing just fine.  She was even purring and attacking the menacing Q-tips that were threatening her life.  I will never again give her bacon grease.  Lesson learned.

Monday Traffic - The Perfect Storm

As many of you know I commute 35-40 miles into work every morning.  This includes driving 30 miles to the park and ride then hopping on the bus for the last stretch into Portland.  On a normal day I make it to work 15-25 minutes early and happily sip coffee until my shift starts.  After a while I forget why I get to work so early, but I remind myself that it's my just-in-case spare time and that I need it.

I love it when I'm right.  Even when I'm arguing with myself.

This morning was one of those mornings that I proved to myself that I am right.  I like to call it "The Perfect Storm" (for traffic). 

Here is a list of events that creates said "Perfect Storm":
- Day Light Savings Time yesterday, we lost an hour. 
- It's finals week (and I sympathize with all of the students that lost a valuable hour of potential study time).
- No one is sick or called in sick today (I have no solid proof, besides the million extra cars on the road).
- No one had vacation time either (same belief as the sick time).
- Everyone was travelling in the same direction.
- New bus driver who doesn't know his new route. 

As I'm parked on I-5 North I begin to make up possible scenarios that would be the reason for my lack of movement.  Here are a few of my theories: 
-All of the stop lights are stuck on red causing the cars to be stuck on the highway with no available exits. 
-All of the police officers decide that today is the day to patrol the highway and pull over speeders causing everyone to slow down to a stop. 
-Drivers, at random, realize that they are about to spend at least 8 hours of their day at work, panic, screech to a sudden halt and scream "NOOOO!!! I'm not ready yet!!  I need more time!!". 
-There are lots of wrecks due to sudden panic attacks by random drivers also causing there to be more police officers on the highway resulting in everyone slowing down and rubber necking. 
-The rain might have something to do with it, but it's Oregon and always raining so I don't accept that as a valid excuse.

I overheard a guy on the bus talking to a coworker on his phone say "Good luck getting to work today"... traffic is so bad that we are wishing one another luck.

If you haven't noticed I really like lists.  Not like chore lists or shopping lists or anything boring like that.  I just like to break up my paragraphs because I tend to ramble on an on and I feel like the lists help me stay somewhat organized.  Let me know if it's not working, otherwise I'll keep my lists.

Bummer of the morning (besides traffic):  I had an 8 o'clock staff meeting via conference call that I was 4 minutes late to.  I had to wait until after that meeting to get my coffee, but I have coffee now which makes everything better.

People vs Peoples

#1.  I hate hate hate when someone uses the word "peoples".  It's not a real word and it's unnecessary to add the "s".

#2.  People is already plural.  You add S's to things to make them plural (see what I did there?  I said things, which is the plural of thing.).

#3.  To make me feel less irritated about the improper use of this non-existent word I made up a definition to make myself feel a bit better.

People: a group of people.

Peoples:  Infinity amount of people including everyone who has ever lived and everyone who will ever be born!!

!

#4.  You don't add S's to the already plural normal words such as geese: I'm going to feed this leftover bread to the pretty geeses.  That just sounds stupid. 

#5.  Proof that this offensive word is used:

 

#6.  There is a solution to this problem!  Instead of saying Peoples - make it a real word by adding an apostrophe! People's!  That makes everything better.  It's saying that the people are taking ownership of something.  It's empowering, and makes everything look smarter.

Chinese Restaurant Lady with a Hidden Agenda

Anyone who lives in this small town knows the exact restaurant that I'm talking about.  It's the only Chinese Restaurant/bar/hotel in town.  Actually, I think it's the only hotel we have, so that pretty much narrows down the choices to one.

Every time my husband and I go to said restaurant the little Chinese owner lady/waitress greets us and sometime during the conversation  says "You very pretty".  I am always flattered and slightly embarrassed because I don't know how to act like a human being when someone that I don't know compliments me. 

As we leave it's a guarantee that she will hand me a cute origami flower that she made.  When I get home, because I don't know what to do with my massive collection of these things, I throw them away.  I appreciate the gesture from the Chinese Restaurant lady, but I honestly don't know what she expects me to do with a bouquet of origami flowers.

Yesterday, my husband texted me to inform me that he was at the Chinese Restaurant for lunch and that the Chinese Restaurant lady asked about me and gave him another one of these origami flowers. 

I have this theory:  The origami flowers must be some sort of fertility flower and whoever takes and keeps the flower will suddenly procreate.

I told my husband this theory.  He was able to confirm that the Chinese Restaurant lady asked when we were going to have kids, husband said he wasn't sure, so she gave him a second fertility origami flower to take home and give to me!

I was not able to immediately find any such proof that there is a thing called a "Fertility Origami Flower" when researching the internet, but I am positive that this is a Chinese secret that has been kept from the outside world for centuries.

There is only one problem I now seem to face with this knowledge.  Since the Chinese Restaurant lady knows that we are not pregnant yet, and yet she keeps giving me these fertility origami flowers, that means that she must know that I am throwing them away.  Therefor I can not go back to that restaurant because I have hurt her feelings because she knows that I threw away her fertility origami flowers instead of keeping them in my house and increasing her mystical Chinese method of helping unsuspecting couples in procreating.

Not Ready Yet

For all of those who are wondering why I have not entered into the joy-filled lifelong journey of parenthood, there is a good explanation, I promise. 

My husband and I are approaching our three year wedding anniversary and have had many serious discussions as to when we would like to start a family of our own.  I even get bit with the baby bug at least once a month.  Up until now I have always been able to come up with a few vague excuses: "I'm still young", "We  have plenty of time", and "I'm enjoying my freedom".  It wasn't until Monday, the last day of January, that I realized that I am simply not ready, for the sake and well being of the child.

My day started off normally enough.  I went to work.  I can home.  I even got to enjoy myself at a volleyball open gym for a few hours.  When I finally found myself back home it was 10:30pm... WAAAYYYY past my bedtime.  (Note: when I am tired I get grumpy)  I walked up to my front door and noticed that the house lights are on.  I sleepily push my way through the front door and took a mental note that it was unlocked, but no one was home.  Duke, my nearly seven month old puppy, greeted me gaily at the door welcoming me home with an overabundance of excitement and love.  While tripping over Duke with each step into my warm house I look up and to my sheer horror and frustration see the biggest mess EVER.

Duke had been left in the house (ALONE) for at the very most three hours.  This is not an uncommon thing, he usually does ok and only chews up inexpensive and/or easily replaceable things.  But this time was different.  The garage door had been left open therefor giving Duke unsupervised access into a place that is normally off-limits to his destructive/puppy tendencies. 

I lost all self control...  I screamed.  I cried.  I stomped my feet.  I may have even thrown something.  I went from being happy and self composed to a stark raving lunatic in .001 seconds.  I honestly can not tell you the last time I was that angry.

This epic mess took me 20 minutes to clean and covered over half of my house.  There is no picture because I was way too angry at the time.  Here is a list of items that this little monster drug into my house and that I had to clean up:
1).  6 scanes of yarn (chewed up, and strung all over).
2).  5 shoes.
3).  1 Baseball hat
4).  My cat's food bowl, plastic, and chewed to tiny bits.
5).  A dog treat bag, empty, and torn to tiny bits.
6).  Cardboard, soggy, and torn to tiny bits.
7).  Misc. plastic pieces (not quite sure what they were or where they came from), chewed up, and torn to tiny bits.

I was so upset that by the time my house was clean, I had showered, and was in bed that I couldn't even look at Duke without getting angry all over again.  I stomped to bed at 11:30pm and laid there awake for another hour, at least.

Little butt-head all proud of himself.

Until I can handle a simple situation like that with poise and maturity - without turning into a she-wolf - I don't think that it is wise to subject a child to that sort of behavior.

Friends and Sick Horses

My best friend, Ashley, gave me this picture way back in the day.  The caption reads "Hold on to Good Friends"  - if only it were that easy...  I like to think it is.






This weekend I spent a lot of time with my (usually neglected) horse, Jet.  Dad called me up Saturday morning to let me know that Jet wasn't doing so well and that he thought Jet had coliced again.  Colic is were the horses gut gets all twisted up and can potentially be fatal to the animal.  Jet was sprawled out in the middle of the field just laying there in a huge puddle of mud (as you can clearly see in the pic below, because that horse is filthy!).  Dad thought he was dead, twice.  So I went over to my parents house to walk my horse around and see if I could help make him feel better.


Sierra walking my smiling horse

So two days of walking him around, keeping him in a stall, and letting him eat only green grass... I think his tummy ache is going away.  I did get to spend a gorgeous Sunday morning with my horse, a delicious cup of hot coffee, and talking to God :)  Perfect start to a lovely day!

Jet sniffing my coffee



New Year 2011

I just want to start off by saying that I don't make New Years Resolutions.  I've got lots of reasons why I don't, but it's been so many years in a row now that I haven't made a Resolution that I've just decided to stick with that. 

Saturday, 1-1-11, I went shopping with my mom and sisters.  All day long.  It was a ton of fun.  Throughout the day I kept getting little texts from my husband letting me know what he's been up to.  Just a warning, these texts may surprise some of you.  Laundry check.  Dishes check.  Vacuum check.  Etc.  With each updated text I would send him a compliment back letting him know how much I appreciate him doing that stuff for me while I'm out playing.  Finally I said "You're so good to me :) " and he replied with "I'm trying that's my new year resolution".  AWWWWWWWW! (Followed by a guilty tug on my heart for not being a thoughtful wife like that).

I think I am the luckiest girl in the world.  Just sayin.

So, for my post new years resolution... or whatever you would like to call it.  I resolve not to complain or have a bad attitude when my husband wants to play Halo on his Xbox.... at least not ALL the time :)  Let see how long this lasts!