Long story short:
I'm scared of spiders.
Long story:
It was a gorgeous day Sunday. The sun finally decided to grace Oregon with some warmth and I soaked as much of it's glorious rays as I could. One of the outdoor chores that I have been dreading is cleaning out my car. My car is definitely a commuter car. I practically live in it. There is garbage tucked in every nook and cranny with a layer of dust on any of its untouched surfaces. My mother would be ashamed. I am actually embarrassed to drive anyone in my car because it is so nasty. After filling two Safeway bags with garbage and used Clorox wipes I was feeling rather accomplished. With my arms loaded with garbage and my husbands rain jacket (don't know why that was in my car) I merrily made my way back to the house. As I reached my hand for the door knob I saw it. I big, hairy spider.
I froze. (Note: I would post a picture of it to prove how big it was but I didn't think to take a picture of it and didn't want to search google for an image of a spider. Just thinking about it gives me the heeby-geebies).
While standing there, arms loaded, and hand extended I stared at that disgusting creature. I could feel my heart rate climb higher and higher as the spider made its way up my front door.
The spider finally made it to the top of the door then stopped and stared it's many soulless eyes at me just daring me to do something. Somewhere in my being I found a small amount of courage. It was just enough to turn the knob and give the door a slight push. With every bad thought about the horrible things that spider could do to me I mechanically moved through the door while forcing myself to keep eye contact with the spider.
Then the unthinkable happened. The little monster launched itself off my door and at my face.
I reacted like any sane person would. I instantaneously threw my armload with careless abandon, screamed, and ran as fast as I could to hide myself safely behind the couch.
As I peeped over the edge of the couch I half noticed husband, cat, and dog all staring at me like I had lost my mind while I frantically scanned my surroundings for any other potential spider threat. I silently cursed myself for not having some super power that would allow my eye sight to find where my evil attacker landed while husband bewilderly attempted to coaxed me out of my hiding spot, but I
violently refused to budge.
Husband is my super hero. He bravely located and killed my attacker then humorously looked at me and said "I've never heard you scream like that before". Well, darling, nothing really scares me badly enough to warrant a death scream... only spiders.
