Greasy Act of Kindness?

Last night I decided to make breakfast for dinner.  Bacon, fried potatoes, and scrambled eggs.  It was delicious.  To reward my patient dog and cat for staying out of the kitchen and generally not begging for scraps while I was cooking I decided to reward them with some bacon grease drizzled over their food for dinner. 

The dog was ecstatic and quickly downed his dinner which turned into loudly licking the empty bottom of his food bowl all the way across the dining room (wood) floor.  Did I mention he did this as loud as possible?

The cat, on the other hand, quietly took a few dainty bites of her food and didn't even make it half way through her meal before she decided she was done.  She must be concerned about what the bacon grease would do to her figure.

Immediately afterwards both dog and cat were merrily licking their chops and sitting in the living room with husband and me.  Dog sprawled out of the floor with his bone.  Cat hopped up on my lap then vomited all over my robe.  Thanks cat.

While I was cleaning myself up cat sat in the middle of the living room floor.  She started swaying like her head weighed too much.  Then she flopped on her side and laid there all lethargically.  Her eyes glazed over and she just stared into space.  When I went to pick her up she started moaning and groaning and making all sorts of sick noises.

At this point I'm really concerned.  My cat is never lethargic.  Or sick.  And has never puked on me.  Husband was not very helpful and told me that my greasy act of kindness was going to kill our cat.

So I did what any concerned pet owner would do.  I called my mom.  I know that you're not supposed to give dogs chocolate and wasn't sure if I missed the whole "you can't give cat's bacon grease" rule.  Mom had never heard of any such rule and said that puking was probably the best thing for her at that point.

Husband, dog, cat, and I all crawl into bed to watch some T.V.  Dog is very concerned about my dramatically sick cat.  Cat is groaning while huddled in a corner under my nightstand.  I try consoling the cat and cuddling with her, but that just makes her more miserable.  She seems to be giving up on life.  Now dog and I are really concerned.  So I fall asleep.  (You'd understand if it was 10pm and you had to wake up at 5:30am too!  Don't judge.)

12:31 am I am startled awake by cat's violent, theatrical, death screams.  And more projectile vomiting.  I've never heard anything like that in my life, and will have nightmares about it probably for the rest of my life.  Husband puts the cat to bed in the garage and cleans up her mess because when I just wake up from a dead sleep, I'm retarded.  I just sat there shakily asking him if I should help.  Because husband is the best and knows not to mess with my sleep he was very understanding and told me to just go back to bed.  So I did.  And had nightmares about my dramatic, yowling cat dying.

This morning I am glad to find that my cat is doing just fine.  She was even purring and attacking the menacing Q-tips that were threatening her life.  I will never again give her bacon grease.  Lesson learned.

Monday Traffic - The Perfect Storm

As many of you know I commute 35-40 miles into work every morning.  This includes driving 30 miles to the park and ride then hopping on the bus for the last stretch into Portland.  On a normal day I make it to work 15-25 minutes early and happily sip coffee until my shift starts.  After a while I forget why I get to work so early, but I remind myself that it's my just-in-case spare time and that I need it.

I love it when I'm right.  Even when I'm arguing with myself.

This morning was one of those mornings that I proved to myself that I am right.  I like to call it "The Perfect Storm" (for traffic). 

Here is a list of events that creates said "Perfect Storm":
- Day Light Savings Time yesterday, we lost an hour. 
- It's finals week (and I sympathize with all of the students that lost a valuable hour of potential study time).
- No one is sick or called in sick today (I have no solid proof, besides the million extra cars on the road).
- No one had vacation time either (same belief as the sick time).
- Everyone was travelling in the same direction.
- New bus driver who doesn't know his new route. 

As I'm parked on I-5 North I begin to make up possible scenarios that would be the reason for my lack of movement.  Here are a few of my theories: 
-All of the stop lights are stuck on red causing the cars to be stuck on the highway with no available exits. 
-All of the police officers decide that today is the day to patrol the highway and pull over speeders causing everyone to slow down to a stop. 
-Drivers, at random, realize that they are about to spend at least 8 hours of their day at work, panic, screech to a sudden halt and scream "NOOOO!!! I'm not ready yet!!  I need more time!!". 
-There are lots of wrecks due to sudden panic attacks by random drivers also causing there to be more police officers on the highway resulting in everyone slowing down and rubber necking. 
-The rain might have something to do with it, but it's Oregon and always raining so I don't accept that as a valid excuse.

I overheard a guy on the bus talking to a coworker on his phone say "Good luck getting to work today"... traffic is so bad that we are wishing one another luck.

If you haven't noticed I really like lists.  Not like chore lists or shopping lists or anything boring like that.  I just like to break up my paragraphs because I tend to ramble on an on and I feel like the lists help me stay somewhat organized.  Let me know if it's not working, otherwise I'll keep my lists.

Bummer of the morning (besides traffic):  I had an 8 o'clock staff meeting via conference call that I was 4 minutes late to.  I had to wait until after that meeting to get my coffee, but I have coffee now which makes everything better.

People vs Peoples

#1.  I hate hate hate when someone uses the word "peoples".  It's not a real word and it's unnecessary to add the "s".

#2.  People is already plural.  You add S's to things to make them plural (see what I did there?  I said things, which is the plural of thing.).

#3.  To make me feel less irritated about the improper use of this non-existent word I made up a definition to make myself feel a bit better.

People: a group of people.

Peoples:  Infinity amount of people including everyone who has ever lived and everyone who will ever be born!!

!

#4.  You don't add S's to the already plural normal words such as geese: I'm going to feed this leftover bread to the pretty geeses.  That just sounds stupid. 

#5.  Proof that this offensive word is used:

 

#6.  There is a solution to this problem!  Instead of saying Peoples - make it a real word by adding an apostrophe! People's!  That makes everything better.  It's saying that the people are taking ownership of something.  It's empowering, and makes everything look smarter.