Chinese Restaurant Lady with a Hidden Agenda

Anyone who lives in this small town knows the exact restaurant that I'm talking about.  It's the only Chinese Restaurant/bar/hotel in town.  Actually, I think it's the only hotel we have, so that pretty much narrows down the choices to one.

Every time my husband and I go to said restaurant the little Chinese owner lady/waitress greets us and sometime during the conversation  says "You very pretty".  I am always flattered and slightly embarrassed because I don't know how to act like a human being when someone that I don't know compliments me. 

As we leave it's a guarantee that she will hand me a cute origami flower that she made.  When I get home, because I don't know what to do with my massive collection of these things, I throw them away.  I appreciate the gesture from the Chinese Restaurant lady, but I honestly don't know what she expects me to do with a bouquet of origami flowers.

Yesterday, my husband texted me to inform me that he was at the Chinese Restaurant for lunch and that the Chinese Restaurant lady asked about me and gave him another one of these origami flowers. 

I have this theory:  The origami flowers must be some sort of fertility flower and whoever takes and keeps the flower will suddenly procreate.

I told my husband this theory.  He was able to confirm that the Chinese Restaurant lady asked when we were going to have kids, husband said he wasn't sure, so she gave him a second fertility origami flower to take home and give to me!

I was not able to immediately find any such proof that there is a thing called a "Fertility Origami Flower" when researching the internet, but I am positive that this is a Chinese secret that has been kept from the outside world for centuries.

There is only one problem I now seem to face with this knowledge.  Since the Chinese Restaurant lady knows that we are not pregnant yet, and yet she keeps giving me these fertility origami flowers, that means that she must know that I am throwing them away.  Therefor I can not go back to that restaurant because I have hurt her feelings because she knows that I threw away her fertility origami flowers instead of keeping them in my house and increasing her mystical Chinese method of helping unsuspecting couples in procreating.

Not Ready Yet

For all of those who are wondering why I have not entered into the joy-filled lifelong journey of parenthood, there is a good explanation, I promise. 

My husband and I are approaching our three year wedding anniversary and have had many serious discussions as to when we would like to start a family of our own.  I even get bit with the baby bug at least once a month.  Up until now I have always been able to come up with a few vague excuses: "I'm still young", "We  have plenty of time", and "I'm enjoying my freedom".  It wasn't until Monday, the last day of January, that I realized that I am simply not ready, for the sake and well being of the child.

My day started off normally enough.  I went to work.  I can home.  I even got to enjoy myself at a volleyball open gym for a few hours.  When I finally found myself back home it was 10:30pm... WAAAYYYY past my bedtime.  (Note: when I am tired I get grumpy)  I walked up to my front door and noticed that the house lights are on.  I sleepily push my way through the front door and took a mental note that it was unlocked, but no one was home.  Duke, my nearly seven month old puppy, greeted me gaily at the door welcoming me home with an overabundance of excitement and love.  While tripping over Duke with each step into my warm house I look up and to my sheer horror and frustration see the biggest mess EVER.

Duke had been left in the house (ALONE) for at the very most three hours.  This is not an uncommon thing, he usually does ok and only chews up inexpensive and/or easily replaceable things.  But this time was different.  The garage door had been left open therefor giving Duke unsupervised access into a place that is normally off-limits to his destructive/puppy tendencies. 

I lost all self control...  I screamed.  I cried.  I stomped my feet.  I may have even thrown something.  I went from being happy and self composed to a stark raving lunatic in .001 seconds.  I honestly can not tell you the last time I was that angry.

This epic mess took me 20 minutes to clean and covered over half of my house.  There is no picture because I was way too angry at the time.  Here is a list of items that this little monster drug into my house and that I had to clean up:
1).  6 scanes of yarn (chewed up, and strung all over).
2).  5 shoes.
3).  1 Baseball hat
4).  My cat's food bowl, plastic, and chewed to tiny bits.
5).  A dog treat bag, empty, and torn to tiny bits.
6).  Cardboard, soggy, and torn to tiny bits.
7).  Misc. plastic pieces (not quite sure what they were or where they came from), chewed up, and torn to tiny bits.

I was so upset that by the time my house was clean, I had showered, and was in bed that I couldn't even look at Duke without getting angry all over again.  I stomped to bed at 11:30pm and laid there awake for another hour, at least.

Little butt-head all proud of himself.

Until I can handle a simple situation like that with poise and maturity - without turning into a she-wolf - I don't think that it is wise to subject a child to that sort of behavior.